Something you don't know about relationship
Many of us have an uncomfortable relationshipwith our feelings. We might stuff down our
sadness or sweep away our anger. We might
even have trouble identifying what we’re feeling
in the first place.
This isn’t surprising. According to
psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC, we’re
socialized to mask our feelings. We learn that we
must cover up our emotions “in order to behave
appropriately, professionally, and to avoidconflict and navigate relationships.”
People also worry their emotions are wrong, bad
or even crazy, she said. They fear being rejected
or perceived as needy or foolish.
People may believe they’re weak if they feel sad
or scared, so they avoid these emotions. Or they
may ignore other emotions, believing they
shouldn’t be feeling that way.
While feelings may be tricky and we may view
them with unease or even suspicion, they’re
actually important and valuable.
Clinical psychologist Jennifer Taitz, PsyD, defines
an emotion as “a response that includes an
interpretation, physical sensations and a pull to
act.”
She gave this example: “When you feel afraid,
you might think, ‘ I’m in danger !’ you may feel
your heart rate race and find yourself sweating,
and you may feel yourself pulled to escape.”
Below, Taitz and Marter clarify three important
facts about feelings to help us cope more
effectively.